Don't Defeat Yourself. Notice where fear may be living.

Recently, while working with a client who is creating the vision for her new project, I was coaching her on the type of team she wants to develop. She talked about some of the people who want to be involved with her in this venture. One person is quite bright in a specific area but also quite negative in their communication style. Unsure of how this person's energy could affect the project I asked her to become quiet inside and pull a card that would symbolize this person and their involvement as a member of her team.

She pulled the 5 of Swords which is called 'Defeat' in the Thoth Tarot deck. In an instant her own fear emerged and of course she wondered if it was about her. This was a delicate challenge for her and ultimately she realized, on her own via the inner environment in which we were working, that this person was indeed mirroring a fear of defeat that she was holding on the unconscious. Gratefully she embraced the awareness and was then able to look at what she wanted in the working relationship.

She was able to separate her fear from her judgment about this other person. She was able to see that this person could be a valuable asset on her team but the responsibility lay with her to create the right set of expectations regarding how the team would communicate with each other. She had not thought at all about the dynamics of the team's communication. Now she was aware of the power that the fear of defeat had held within her.

That is was not about defeat but rather about the fear of defeat. It's understanding that it is the fear which can freeze any movement forward.

Now this is a case where true defeat could materialize if the expectations are not clearly communicated and worked with as a communication continuum. Exchanging expectations is not a one time thing. Whenever two or more are gathered together in anyone's name there is the need to continually visit and re-visit expectations. Exchange them, negotiate them, make them the fluid foundation for building co-creative working relationships!

In that way there is no room for defeat or the fear of it. There is only room for the flow of creativity!